D ReAl Me!

I’m pissed

Angie — Tue, 29 May 2007 14:26:15 +0000

I’m pissed not because of the photos of ennuh and nadin. I’m pissed because I have no one to lean on. I need somebody right now. I feel so lonely. I need Epau but I was hurt when she said bahala na daw ako, na hindi niya alam kung ano yung best para saakin. it’s like she’s not my bstest friend anymore. I’m soo pissed plus add on the coldness of Nadin. Parang last week lang ang saya saya ko kasi nagseselos siya tapos ngayon wala na. He really doesn’t love me anymore. He can’t chase me!! Plus add my horoscope pa.. na “a new relationship that started well is going to get better with time.” I hope my horoscope is the relationship i had with Erinn not with gamabunta. I really hate him when he’s ignoring me. grrrr.. pagako my ginagawa na. i’ll ignore him too. kala niya!!

garrrrrrrr… super inis!!

Angie — Sat, 26 May 2007 04:30:13 +0000

Yep..another guy..but this time, i know him. i really know him.. because he’s Nadin. Reemember what I said before na pinapaselos q xa and It didn’t work. Pero ngayon after the Erinn thing, nagpaparamdam na si Nadin. I even got a chance to invite him to watch pirates last friday, hindi xa pwede and I expect it na naman eh. expected ko na hindi xa pwde.. Ilang beses n nya ng gnwa skin yun noh. aun, so i’ts not a big deal after all. Tpos sabe nya sa Monday nalang. Ok. naman ako.. mssweetan na sana ako kasi first day na nila sa monday and he said he’ll cut classes for me.. pero kgb.. sb nya kung pwdeng tuesday nalang. Ayaw ko nga!! Common, siya nagsabi ng monday tapos immove niya. Panindigan nya. Plus, he said sa monday daw kasi half day sila. Edi ba ms mgndang ida yun.. Hndi na xa mgccut for me. Pero ayaw nya. At alm ko na yung reason, kasi aalis sila ng college friends niya.. cmon, wag nyang sbhn na uuwi xa noh. C nadin, uuwi ng maaga. cmon!! HINDI AQ MAGAADJUST PARA SAKANYA!!! AYAW KO!! HAAYY NAIINIZ NANAMAN AQ!! grrr.. huhuhu.. Buti hindi ako ngexpect.. buti alam kong bibiguin nya ako. Ganun parin xa. Hindi parin xa ngbabago. Haayyy.. I’m not one of his priorities.. haayy..

~~HE STILL DON’T WANT COMMITMENT~~

haaayy..blik nnmn aq sa dati

Angie — Wed, 23 May 2007 09:02:41 +0000

haayy..i thought everything will work.. hindi pala. The thing that i’ve done to make Nadin jealous,hindi nagwork sakanya. nainis lng xa. ni hindi niya ako pinaexplain.. haaayy.. kla q p nmn ssbhn nya mhal nya aq..hnd nmn pla. I mean, wla n xang nrrmdman skin. Naalala ko, ayaw pla niya ng commitment.. kaya wala rin. ayaw niya.. haay.. hindi na umuubra sakanya. haaayy.. nakakalungkot tlga n hndi n niya ako mahal.. haayy.. Nakakalungkot na yaw niyang makipagbalikan.. haayynnsa

Hindi na talaga magiging kami ulit. haaayy..

haay nkoh angie, kahit anong gawin mu talaga, hindi na xa babalik sau.. wala ng pagasa..

I’m playing around!!

Angie — Tue, 22 May 2007 10:31:57 +0000

Yess.. I’m playing around.. i’m using others for my feelings. I had a summer fling with Erinn. for 16 days. He thought i’m madly in love with him. He thought I’m serious in our relationship. but I didn’t. I made him believe na i’m really into him. Plus, last 17, Nadin gave me a testi.. the moment he’s giving me testi was the moment I change my profile from single to in a relationship. and I know he saw it. Ayun. Plus, when Erinn and I meet up. pinost q p ung pix sa multiply, for individuals at cnma q c nadin pra mkta nya, at para mgselos xa.. Epau’s right. I did this for Nadin not because I love erinn. I did it because i still love nadin not Erinn and I hope everything that i did will work. Sana bumalik na sakin si Nadin.. I really miss him.. soo much.. and i still love him.. soo much..

Second Big Switch–single

Angie — Mon, 21 May 2007 04:28:41 +0000

From a very happy me.. inspired.. Finally, i got back to my normal ordianary days. From a 5 days relationship with erinn, now i’m single uli. It’s just that everything’s too fast and everything that feels about me is just infatuation. Shit noh. Buti nalang i haven’t gave him my heart. I’m ready to give my heart when he said it. I cried pero ok n un.. Once lang. i mean. we’ve known each other for the exact 16 days at alm ko naman na ganun din yung mangyayari. For me, it’s just a fling. I enjoy and i relaly had a great time with erinn we met (akin nalang ang lhat ng ngyri..bsta msya ako!) hahaha!! Ayun nga, and the reason I cried is that i’m soo down. When he said it.. I cried because i feel so down.. all the negatives are in me like no one loves me, no one’s taking good care of me, no one loves me because i’m too fat, i’m not that good looking that’s why no one loves me. i’m too negative

I’m too negative and i know I can overcome this. Ok na ako. hehe..

We’re freidns nalang..

In a relationship na ako!

Angie — Thu, 17 May 2007 07:55:24 +0000

My life started to be different when Erinn texted me. It was last May 6, 2007 when he texted me and I never thought that my life will have a sudden change. Everyday, everynight, Errin and I were texting. Naguusap pa nga kami sa landlyn minsan pro madalas sa fon nmin to Know each other better. Mabilis kaming nagkakilanlan at nagkagustuhan. It was May 11, 2007 when he said that he likes me and I too had a same feelings for him. Panu naman kasi, para kzng mtgal ko na siyang kilala. Ang gaan ng loob ko sakanya. Everyday and every night texting tlga kme. He even buy a globe sim to catch up with me–wala na kasi siyang load nun sa sun–kaya ng globe xa. Ayun, our communication never ended, tuloi tuloi lng xa. He was honest–and how do i know?–i can feel it. Everything that I asked about him and on his past,sinasagot niya. I even told him na i’m scared to fall because of my past and he understood it.

We had a seroius conversation about us, about us falling in love with each other. I ask him “kung ako na fall sayo,anu gagawin mu?” alm mu kung ano sb nya–i’ll catch u–oh dba..ang gndang punchline! Alm nyu b kung bakit ko siya ngustuhan? ngustuhan ko siya kasi prang kilalang kilala n nya ako. Sabi niya sakin–kelngan dw aq alagaan ng mabuti, and I remember once, the day before we texted each other, I cried because I wanted someone who can take good care of me. It was very shocking for me coz he know about it, though everyone needs TLC,pero xa alm nya na lonely ako without saying to him, ni hndi ko nga pnapakita sknya eh.. plus. My mga instincts xa skin na tama.. basta..iisa isahin ko p b un?

May 16, 2007, at around 3 am. He ask me–”Would you be my girl?” Since we know na we ‘re falling in love with each other.. he ask me na.. It was shocking ulit coz I never thought it would end up like this very fast. I mean we’ve known each other for just 10 days and he’s asking me na if I could be his girl? I ask him a favor if he could repeat it mamaya when we talk on the phone. I mean, he asked me in text and i know it’s not that meaningful and how do i know if he’s sincere in tex diba.. ayun, we sleep na.. Aun, then when we woke up na, we talk on the phone. He sounds so serious, hindi na yung erinn na madalas kong katawanan. ayun.

We had a serious talk and he really mean what he says a couple of hours ago. Ayun. I ask him if he could wait.. pero love ko na xa. Oo na yung sagot ko eh kaso nabilisan ako sa mga pnagyayari..I mean we had only known each other for just 10 days.. pro I’m wrong. Aun, when my dad left to fetch my sister at the hospital..xempre ako lang mag-isa nun sa bahai. We talk. We had a fun conversation, masaya, xempre kausap ko siya eh.. heheh!! aun and I accept him as my boy. Aun, and i have no regrets.. I really had a great time with him! sobra!! I love him. Ang galing galing niya mag-alaga. Lagi niya akong nilalambing and the best thing is that we trust each other..

haayy..

Sabi nga ni Jo skin.. “oki lang kahit mabilis na naging kayo, hindi basehan yung kung gaano kayo ktgal nagkakilala basta masaya at mhal mu siya.”

Illegal nanaman pero masaya ako. Inspired nanaman ako. Kung ikukumpara mo tong buhay ko ngaun sa dati na madalas akong umiiyak, it’s a way to different sa ngaun.. Feel na feel ko na may nag-aalaga sken..

Lucky nga ako eh.. He’s a talented guy. May pangarap sa buhay. Responsible kuya. hehe!!

aun..

inlove nanamn ang lola nyu..

hehe!!

Fast switch of my life for a better me

Angie — Fri, 11 May 2007 14:16:51 +0000

Last sunday, I felt soo lonely.. Icry myself to sleep because I need someone who can take good care of me for good. Needing a guy who can make me feel special. Because all this time, I’m always taking good care of myself. I also want to feel the care other people gave as a sign of being “special person”. Plus, when Nadin and I we’re still together, I’ve barely encounter that “care” I needed. Nadin did not give me much attention and care I needed the most that’s why I wanted to be taken good care of..

The sad saturday pass by, and an ordinary shocking sunday came, it was at first ordinary but i also feel th excitement. exictement because we will watch “spiderman3.” and I always want to watch spiderman3. They want to rsist in watching it but I insisted. hehe.. Napagkasunduan na kasi eh.. aun. we watch at glorietta one, last full show. It was ok. but i prfer the frst two spderman than these movie. But anyway, that was not the real story. The shocking switch of my life came after we watched movie. Thr were two incoming mssages in my sun phone. it was mahvic asking if i had load, and if i had, i must text her and an unknown number saying “hi”

The unknown number knows my name, and it happens to be Mahvic’s friend. aun, we txt.. He’s name is Erinn, Erinn Lloyd Cruz. At first, i thought He was a she.. u know.. because of he’s name. It’s like girl. Well anyway, he’s from qc. studying at MCU. he’s 17, turning 18. He’s a month and couple of days older than me. He’s thin and mtangkad.. Aun, we get along pretty well. Ang dme nyang tnong..but it helps a lot. It helps for us to be closer. Then we had conversations in landlyn.. tmtwag aq sknya, hnd dw kz gmgna ung 0 numbr digit sknla kya un.. aun.. msya nmn.. alm mu ung feeling na he’s my long lost friend.. mgaan kz loob q sknya..we had a lot of things in common. We don’t eat seafoods, we wanted to have a long relationship n din. Ayun, until we became medyo serious na.. We like each other na.. Plus we have plans on meeting up at MOA. and watch movie kso hndi kme ngkasundo dun.. I want to watch shrek 3 kasi eh.. kso ayw nya kz mtgal dw. He wants to see me and to be with me n dw. hehehe!! ayun, kilig namn aq.. hehehe!! aun..

But you know what my problem is? everything seems so fast. I mean we have known each other for just 5 days plus, we like each other na agad. Hndi ba sobrang bilis. plus, I am afraid. I am afraid of falling. Pnu kung hnd pla ttoo ung mga cnb nya skin?

aun..

haaayy..

pro let’s keep our fingers cross for d best result..

hehe!

I need it badly!

Angie — Sat, 05 May 2007 16:46:18 +0000

Yeah..and the one that i needed was someone who can take good care of me.. Since cj. and I have no communication already, i realized na naghahanap pala ako ng guy para my mgalaga sken.. it’s not that cj.n q o kaya nadin na ulit aq.. it’s just that i want someone who can take good care of me. The guy who can make me feel that i’m special. I need him and I need it badly.

Kuya CJ.

Angie — Tue, 01 May 2007 06:03:09 +0000

Since no one’s reading my private blog but me, i can post whatever i wanted. right! eheh! Kuya Cj.. my only kuya.. hehehe! though we were born in the same year.. is very special to me. He helps me a lot. He helps me forget my awful past–Nadin. I’m really thankful I had him. We txt everyday. Until i realize i’m falling. Nagugustuhan ko na siya. I like him so much not only because of his physical appearance but also his attitude specially the way he rspects women. hehe!! he’s my dream guy.. Evrything that i like is into him. I even said to myself na i want a guy lik him.. exactly like him. hehe!! Each day, and each day i continue falling.. Each day, i’m liking him soo much until we had this open conversation. Kuya noticed me. I’m very happy daw. he ask me “my nagpapatibok b sa puso ng bunsoy q?” By the way, he’s calling me bunsoy kasi i’m calling him kuya.. so aun, and i like it when he’s calling m bunsoy.. hehe!! I ask him why and h said that i’m always happy daw kasi kya aun.. The other day, we had an open conversation again.. hehe!! and i like it.. i really like. That was the time when we had a serious talk. He ask me a lot of things specially love life. He ask me if ther is someone i like.. i said yes but i didn’t tell who’s the guy coz he’s the guy. He also ask something about my past lovelife and i aldo ask the same thing.. The only difference is, he and the girl–mika–is still strong. And i know he love mika so much coz when i ask her name, he said “Jennifer mika, mahal na mahal ko talga siya” when he said it, I was jealous.. hoping that someone will also say somehting like that to othr people about me. iask him if they were ok. if ther’s still strong.. sbi nya ok lng dw.. last chance dw.. pg hnd dw ngwork.. sori nlng.. Nasasayangan ako. I know Cj love his girl and i know they can do it. but whn he’s tlling stories about his girl, i just keep on being jealous. sna ako nalang yun.. hehe!! sna my gnyang lalaki din para skin.. haayy.. When I ask his girlfriend’s name.. ngkroon xa ng phbol na txt.. sb nya

“Alm mu my ngugustuhan na sna akong girl kso mukhang hnd preho ung nrramdman nya pra skin”

When i saw this message.. all i came into my mind is “sana ako yun” I ask him pro sbi nya bgy q daw muna yung name ng guy na like ko.. ehhnd q bngy.. Nung night n rin n un.. sbe nya.. wag daw muna kme mxdong clows kasi alm mu n dw kung ano mngyyri sa sobrang clows.. I said i have no intentions coz i know how much he love his girl.. I was so sad that time kasi hndi na kme gnun ngttxt.. plus.. Nahihiya ko sknya nd worst.. naiilang.. aun..

So I decided to talk to him and tell the truth.. that the guy that i like was him.. that was also the day that he said he was crying because of mikka. The same reason why I cried to nadin– walang time! lagi nlang ung mga friends nya. I know what it felt especially when you really love her/him. He said, ok lng yun.. ung cnb q n i like him.. and the rison daw kung bkt gusto nya na wag muna kme mxdong clows is kasi he likes me too. We like ach other. hehe!!

Ang excuse ko kasi siguro nssktan siay kya like nya ako.. I’m being ngative again.. pero bhala na.. come what may..

Ngaun, mdyo ilang na kmi sa isa’t isa.. haayy..

I really wish he’s the one. Pero alam kong hndi mangyayari yun.. haay..

ngaun hindi n kme mxdong ngttext tuald ng dte.. and i think it’s time to treat him as a friend.. and better not hope about us together..

that’s the safest way.. I don’t want to be hurt again..

It’s all a lie!! :(

Angie — Mon, 23 Apr 2007 07:55:22 +0000

He said he loves me yesterday and today, he said, he don’t want commitment..

What’s that?

Anong kalokohan to!!!

After the sweet talk yesterday, babawiin n nya ngayon? After kong bumigay sa mga katarantaduhan n gnwa nya.. after kong maniwala.. gnun lng pla.. aftr kong mgfantasize of what will happen to us aftr that day, wla rin pala.. after i talkd to pau and said na “Pau, mhal na mahal ko siya” wala rin pala..After i ignore evryone’s advice, wla rin pala. I~~t was a big big lie!!!~~ I thought it was true. I thought I’ll be happy. I thought thingswill be okay na. Hindi pala. AT ngayon, hindi nya ako pinapansin.. Iniiwasan niya ako!!

PUTA!!!!

bt gnun.. I wanted to talk to him pro iniiwasan niya ako. PUTA! bakit niya ko iniiwasan.. dpat nga ak0 umiiwas sakanya eh!! bkit hindi niya ako kinakausap.. I wanted to clear things out but he won’t let me. I have so many questions kahit dati pa.. na hinding hindi pa nasasagutan, isabay mo pa tong gnawa niya.. akla ko ok.lng ung ngwa nya.. pro hndi eh.. all this time,before p xa ngprmdm, ok.n ok.n q.. i’m almost moved on na. .pro sinira nya..

bkt nya gnwa skin to?

anu b tlga pakay nya?

anu b gnwa kong msma?

bkt nya ako sinasaktan ng ganito?

bkt gnun..

bkt nya ako iniiwasan?

bat nya gnwa un?

tto b ung mga cnb nya?

pno q mllman kung ttoo ung mga cnsb nya?

~~pgod na pagod na ako!!! pro sige parin ako!! I’m still loving him!~~ I wanted to hate him but i can’t. i wanted to get rid of him but i can’t. Sana ganun lang kadali un.. pro hindi.. i’m trying to think of other person..but i can’t..siya prin iniisip ko.. siya prin mahal ko..

hindi ko na alm kung ano na ggwin ko sa sarili ako..

hindi ko na alm kung pano to maaayos

bakit gnon..ang saklap saklap ng buhay ko.. why can’t I be as happy as other girls out there..

why do i have to suffer.. nang hindi ko nakukuha yung gusto ko at yung kelangan ko..

I wanted tro clar things out!!

~~I want him to talk to me about us.. I want him to face me..~~